How to Plan an Awesome Stag and Doe Party
The stag and doe party has become a time-honoured Canadian tradition focused on raising funds to cover wedding costs.
Unlike the stag or bachelorette party that provides a last hurrah for the bride and groom to be, this celebration has a more practical purpose of fundraising. It’s an important gathering featuring food, drinks, and an endless list of possible activities, formally kicking off the planned nuptials a few months before the big day.
Some say the stag and doe party dates back to ancient Greece where feasting before the wedding was part of the wedding revelries.
However, the modern version of the party most likely started in the 1940s, when Ontario couples found it difficult to raise enough money for a wedding. Wedding parties or the couple themselves threw a big party with a “cover charge” that helped cover their wedding costs or fund their honeymoon.
The event has many names, including Jack and Jill party, buck and doe party, hen and doe party, and a wedding social in parts of Manitoba. Today, more than ever, the stag and doe is a wedding essential with the cost of living soaring and debt rising.
With wedding costs at an all-time high, this type of celebration can be a fantastic strategy for couples looking to begin their marriage without incurring additional debt. This approach is especially beneficial for those planning smaller, more intimate weddings or considering skipping a traditional reception altogether.
A stag and doe event serves as an excellent opportunity to fund your dream wedding. It not only helps cover the costs of a traditional ceremony but also allows for a larger guest list to celebrate with you. Additionally, it provides a way to enjoy the festivities while minimizing the expenses associated with a full reception.
Although planning a stag and doe party can feel as complicated as planning the wedding itself, from choosing the date to the venue and creating the guest list to planning the menu, our tips will help you embrace this tradition and throw a fun, enjoyable event.
Things to Keep in Mind When Hosting a Stag and Doe Party
To help reduce stress and ensure your stag and doe party comes out the way you planned, you should keep the following factors in mind:
Budgeting
Since the goal is to drum up funding to cover the costs of your wedding, budgeting plays a huge role in your stag and doe party plans. This is no time for high-end plans and budgets that will leave you in the hole! It’s best to calculate the number of guests and add up how much you’ll earn to help determine the budget.
You’ll also be charging for games and have a cash bar to help cover costs and generate more funds. So, your budget goal is to ensure the tickets allow you to break even to cover food and rentals, and then use your games to raise funds.
Setting a Date
The date tends to be four to six months from the actual wedding date. It should also follow your engagement announcement so an invitation to your stag and doe doesn’t come out of the blue.
The Guest List
The guests at a stag and doe are not necessarily the guests invited to your wedding. In fact, this is the opportunity to invite more people to celebrate the engagement, especially for couples planning a smaller wedding. This allows you to expand the list to include co-workers, a wider number of family members, family friends, etc.
The Venue
The venue needs to be large enough to provide seating, a bar, space for activities (including a dance floor if that’s in the plans), a buffet if you’re serving food, etc. As a result, great choices include banquet halls, recreation centres, local legions, and so on.
However, keep in mind that if you go with a recreation centre or a local legion, you might need to provide a Special Occasion Permit from the Alcohol and Gaming Commission.
Custom-Design Invitations
Stag and doe invites call for customized designs that include all the unique details for the event. The most important element is the stag and doe invite wording, which has to include all the details, including:
Stag and doe ticket prices and method to pay
What is included in the price
Note that there is a cash bar
Games requiring further contributions
Venue location and map
Date and time
Stag and doe ticket for entry (printable or scannable)
RSVP instructions
Having Fun and Making Memories
You have to make the cover charge worthwhile for guests, which means plenty of food, drinks, and engaging activities. In other words, you need to sell it as the event of the year, so people are happy to be included and will want to attend. Here are some ideas to help get you started.
Decorations and Theme
A major party like this calls for a theme to inspire the decorations and create a memorable, unique occasion. Themes are the jumping-off point and should be general enough that most guests will recognize what the party’s all about. Some ideas might include:
Holidays: Basing the party around a holiday theme, especially something fun like a Halloween stag and doe, or better yet, a Valentine’s Day theme based on romance, are perfect inspirations. Just keep in mind your event could be overshadowed by other parties or engagements if you take this route.
Movies and books: Favourite movies of the couple can also be great ideas for a theme from Star Wars to The Great Gatsby.
Eras: Exciting eras like the roaring 20s, disco 70s, or big hair 80s parties are always fun.
Music genre: Music genres also work well, especially things such as country, glam rock, or punk where very distinct underlying themes and fashions come into play.
Food and Drinks
Tying food and drink into your theme can add to the occasion, but it’s not a must. The main thing is to ensure there’s plenty of food to go around and that it’s fresh and delicious.
Platters of finger foods are ideal as guests can graze on them throughout the party. A buffet with an assortment of salads, sides, and mains is also a great option. Buffets make it easier to meet the dietary needs of guests while offering a more budget-friendly option that doesn’t require wait staff.
A good way to tie food and drink in with the theme is to create customized cocktails/mocktails with fun theme-related names. For example, a Star Wars theme might include a Wookie Sour or Tatooine Sunset, while a Great Gatsby theme might feature a classic Daisy Marie or Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder concoction.
Activities
Stag and doe party activities are different from games. They’re not designed to raise further funds, and instead are an activity guests can choose to participate in, such as dancing or mini putt golfing, or a group activity like wine tasting or a cooking demonstration.
Games and Prizes
Stag and doe planners also need to consider the games and prizes they include to help raise more funds. Some common games include:
50/50 raffle: Guests can buy a ticket with the chance of winning half the proceeds collected from the raffle.
Raffle jar guessing game: This is a common raffle for fundraisers where a jar is filled with something like jelly beans, and guests pay to guess the amount. The closest guess that doesn’t go over wins.
Crazy Jokers: Guests purchase a playing card from a deck face-down on a table or bulletin board. Their name is written on the card and at the end of the night, the people with their names on the Joker cards win a prize.
Lock and key: Random keys are selected and purchased from a bowl, with the goal to find the key that opens a locked box containing a prize.
Technically speaking, you’re actually only allowed to include games of skill such as a bean bag toss, dart games, ring toss, etc., so keep this in mind when planning your games.
Is it okay to host a stag and doe party to raise money?
Yes! This is the whole idea of the stag and doe party, and it’s part of our Canadian culture. It started as part of a small town celebration in Ontario and parts of Manitoba.
People are happy to participate, and arrive at stag and doe parties ready to spend a bit more money to help the young couple raise funds for their wedding. Even those not invited to the wedding enjoy attending these get togethers as it allows them to help celebrate the upcoming nuptials in a less formal, fun setting.
The stag and doe party is often expected in families that have enjoyed participating in this tradition for generations. It’s also a great way for families to meet their in-laws prior to the wedding to forge stronger relationships and contribute to planning a very special wedding for the happy couple.
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